On the next day of result, when I failed in one subject, till afternoon I was not able to forgive myself. Rather I was not able to believe my results. I had failed one subject in first semester of the last year of graduation. This is the year of campus placements and getting a good job was very essential for me.
Last evening I bought some "Thick Reference books". In spite of being strongly hit by them last semester I didn't want to change my views on Engineering studies. I try to learn all the concepts throughly and I enjoy this way. I don't want to be a mugger (memorizing answers) but a programmer. I enjoyed getting lost in the dream world of logic and new concepts. But I didn't have any proper plan. Plan that focuses on exams that need you to be able to write answers to the typical questions. Oh! My mistake.... 'The big mistake for the environment in which I had found myself into'.
I spent my last night reinstalling Windows XP simultaneously reading one of those thick books. Next day I woke up late, got ready at 12 noon. I was feeling very different than a normal day. I didn't want to speak. I wanted to have a short nap in the early afternoon, after lunch. I had frightening dream in it. I saw myself with all types of people, each thinking, working, living in their unique way. Some made sacrifice for others, some didn't care about anything but their work. When woke up I was left with connection with god. I was talking to god. Was he god or inner me? I don't know.
I : "Why did you give me sorrows in such difficult condition?"
God : "Not really, This outcome is result of your work. Its your result. I am no one to interfere in it. You have result of what you did."
I : "I can't understand what I did wrong. I was just hungry for knowledge not exam marks. Please help me understand why I was not able to focus on task at hand i.e. clear the exam"
God : "Cause I wanted you to do so"
I : "But why?"
God : "I wanted you to have tough result in tough situation so that you become more stronger. So that you fight, you struggle and you succeed."
I : "I'm getting it. But then you could have given me failure last year and tought the lesson earlier. Why know. Why at the time when I have to find a new job?"
God : "Cause I want you to be stronger than everyone. Stronger than anyone else. I want to see you fighting. Will you fight?"
I : "Thank you. Thank you very much for believing in me, for choosing me as your great warrior. I will fight!"
Last evening I bought some "Thick Reference books". In spite of being strongly hit by them last semester I didn't want to change my views on Engineering studies. I try to learn all the concepts throughly and I enjoy this way. I don't want to be a mugger (memorizing answers) but a programmer. I enjoyed getting lost in the dream world of logic and new concepts. But I didn't have any proper plan. Plan that focuses on exams that need you to be able to write answers to the typical questions. Oh! My mistake.... 'The big mistake for the environment in which I had found myself into'.
I spent my last night reinstalling Windows XP simultaneously reading one of those thick books. Next day I woke up late, got ready at 12 noon. I was feeling very different than a normal day. I didn't want to speak. I wanted to have a short nap in the early afternoon, after lunch. I had frightening dream in it. I saw myself with all types of people, each thinking, working, living in their unique way. Some made sacrifice for others, some didn't care about anything but their work. When woke up I was left with connection with god. I was talking to god. Was he god or inner me? I don't know.
I : "Why did you give me sorrows in such difficult condition?"
God : "Not really, This outcome is result of your work. Its your result. I am no one to interfere in it. You have result of what you did."
I : "I can't understand what I did wrong. I was just hungry for knowledge not exam marks. Please help me understand why I was not able to focus on task at hand i.e. clear the exam"
God : "Cause I wanted you to do so"
I : "But why?"
God : "I wanted you to have tough result in tough situation so that you become more stronger. So that you fight, you struggle and you succeed."
I : "I'm getting it. But then you could have given me failure last year and tought the lesson earlier. Why know. Why at the time when I have to find a new job?"
God : "Cause I want you to be stronger than everyone. Stronger than anyone else. I want to see you fighting. Will you fight?"
I : "Thank you. Thank you very much for believing in me, for choosing me as your great warrior. I will fight!"
